Saturday, July 11, 2020

Inner Child Healing

Do you struggle with obsessive thoughts, anxiety, depression or addictions?  Are you unhappy and unfulfilled in life, but don't know why?  Do you have difficulty trusting yourself and others?  Are you disconnected from your feelings?  Do you constantly criticize yourself?   Do you struggle with paralyzing fear at the thought of starting something new?  Do you struggle with perfectionism and procrastination?  Do you have trouble starting and finishing things?  Are relationships painful for you?  Do you avoid conflict at all costs?  If you answered yes to some of these questions, you most likely have a wounded inner child. Inner Child healing and integration with the Healthy Adult part of us is imperative if we are to be mature, happy, peaceful, responsible, emotionally healthy and productive adults who enjoy life.  People who have an inner child who isn't healed tend to react to today's issues and situations out of past hurts, without even realizing it, rather than responding out of choice in the present moment.  If it’s hysterical, it’s historical. This means that if your reactions to present situations in your life are bigger than the situation calls for, it’s from the past. You're probably asking what is an inner child and what's the point in dealing with him/her now as an adult?  My childhood is past and long gone.  Yes this is true but until you address what happened back then, you will never be completely free.  You will be bound by past negative learned beliefs that are unconsciously controlling your life.  Some symptoms of a hurt, unhealed inner child are people pleasing, lacking a strong identity, feeling guilty standing up for yourself, feeling inadequate or not enough, relationship difficulties, challenges starting or finishing anything, difficulty identifying feelings, addictions of any kind, fear of abandonment, self criticism, difficulty setting boundaries and standing up for yourself. difficulty trusting others or yourself.

It takes time, patience, and work to heal the inner child.  A few ways you can start is joining a 12 step program such as Adult Children of Alcoholics.  This program helps people reparent themselves in a loving, supportive environment.  Shame gets healed more effectively in group environments where people can share their experience, strength and hope with others as well as work the 12 steps.  The website is

The goal is to create a relationship with your inner child that is based on creating the love, support, fun, acknowledgement, encouragement and safety that was missing growing up.  It's important to start with a letter asking for permission from him/her to create a collaborative relationship and learn new healthy ways of living and being.  There may be mixed emotions in response, so be very patient in allowing him/her to open up to you.  Ask questions such as how are you feeling, what would you like to do, what do you need from me and have him/her answer back.  Acknowledge the feelings and take action appropriately in providing what the inner child needs.  This will build trust, safety and connection. Make this an ongoing practice.  Building relationships take time, energy, and effort.

Affirmations are a very powerful way to praise and build up your inner child.  Examples are, "I love you, "I see you" "I accept you for who you are," You are special," You are unique," Your feelings matter."  or create your own.  These will help replace the negative messages and beliefs learned growing up with more positive, realistic ones.

Listening to inner child guided visualizations and self hypnosis programs are essential in healing and connecting with the inner child and can be found on sites like YouTube.

These are a few steps you can take in healing and integrating your inner child into your self and life.  This has been the most powerful and beneficial work I have ever done in freeing myself from the past and has enabled me to live with more joy, love, peace, confidence and strength. Please share any comments you have about what you connected with in this article or anything you have done to connect with and heal your inner child.

Love, peace and blessings,

Check out my website at if you are interested in working with me personally on a custom tailored plan to heal your inner child.

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