Learning how to love, accept and value ourselves God's way

In order for us to love, accept and value ourselves, we need to connect with and allow God's love in.  His love is perfect, complete, and unconditional.  His love for us created the ultimate sacrifice - His son, Jesus, dying on the cross to take away the sins of every one of us, if we accept him into our heart. There is no greater love than this. His love for us is beyond anything we can ever fathom.  Genesis 1:26-27 says, "we are made in the image and likeness of God."  Psalm 139:13-16 says, "we are fearfully and wonderfully made, and all my days were already written."  We are not a mistake.  God created us intentionally in love with a unique purpose that only we can fulfill.  Once we have accepted Jesus as our savior, we have the love of Him and we can tap into that love whenever we want.  It's not dependent on anything outside of us - Jobs, money, possessions, people, even ourselves. This is selfish self-love.  This is what the world teaches us about self-love.  It's actually backwards.  This is prideful, focuses on the self, and doesn't add value to life.  It minimizes our potential and is based in fear.  Nothing outside of us can provide what only God can.  Through this understanding, we always know that we are enough just as we are, perfect, whole and complete, regardless of any mistakes, fears, doubts, failures or sins we have committed, are currently committing or will commit in the future.  When we sin, we can ask for forgiveness, let it go and move on.  We are free. Without God, we are nothing and with God, we are everything.  What a beautiful miracle we have in Jesus. He is our everything.  When we can love ourselves God's way, whatever we have or don't have on the outside, doesn't affect that love.  We still feel the same amount of love from Him, because it's not dependent upon anything outside of us.  Possessions, relationships, jobs, money come and go, but God's love for us is constant and always accessible at any given moment, regardless of what we are doing, where we are or how we are feeling. It's there for all of us. This is the gift of grace. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, " My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
We are only responsible to do our best because our confidence is in Him. That is enough.  He will give us all the strength and confidence we need to do whatever He has called us to do.  This is the gift of the Holy Spirit in us.  Jeremiah 17:7 says, "Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, who's confidence is in Him."
Ephesians 3:16-18 says, “I pray that out of his glorious riches, he may strengthen you with the power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.  And I pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ."
You may be asking how do I start to achieve this kind of self-love and worth?
1.  Accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, if you haven't already.  In order to do this, say, "Dear Lord Jesus, thank you for dying on the cross for my sins.  Please forgive me.  Come into my life.  I receive you as my Lord and Savior.  Now, help me to live for you the rest of this life.  In Jesus name, I pray. Amen."
2.  Develop, utilize and share the unique gifts He has blessed you with in your life with others.
3.  Ask Him to help you become aware of and take away whatever or whoever is blocking you from seeing yourself the way God sees you and living the life He has planned for you.
4. Practice thanking and praising God for everything in your life, even the small gifts and watch your blessings multiply.
5. Compile a list of bible scriptures that demonstrate God's unfailing love for you and look at them daily as a reminder and faith builder.
6.  Connect with other believers and join a church community to build you up so the worldly ways won't drag you down and make you veer from God.

I would love to hear your comments about this topic and any actions you are taking or have taken that has helped you increase your self-love and acceptance God’s way.

If you would like further support on how to love yourself God's way, feel free to contact me at (805)279-4686.  I provide sessions by phone or video.

Blessings,
Jill

Faith

Believe in your heart that your dreams can and will come true or something better will replace them for your highest and best good.  Don’t ever let go of the vision in your heart.  If God put it there then it will come to fruition, just not in our time or our way.  That’s the difficult part.  Let go of how it is supposed to look.  Tune into God's guidance every minute of every day and take action on that guidance, no matter how silly, confusing or disjointed it may seem.  There is a Plan and know that the Plan is always in our best interests, even though it may not seem that way at the time.  We have to have faith.  Faith is blind trust.  Faith is a muscle.  Just like the muscles in our body need work to build and stay strong, faith takes practice in order to be strong.  Start small.  Put your faith in small things, then when that becomes comfortable, move on to the bigger things.  Hindsight is always 20/20.  It will all make sense later.  You don’t have to know everything now.  In fact, it is totally futile to try because there is no possible way to.  You actually don’t have much control over anything, so just let go, surrender and trust God.  Every experience that we go through is ABSOLUTELY necessary in order to get to the next place on our journey.  It is ALL in perfect harmony with the Plan that God has for us.  Let your life unfold the way it’s supposed to without getting in the way.   It will only delay the inevitable.  Life is like going up a ladder.  We can’t start on the top because if we try, we will fall all the way down.  We need to take each step at a time to get to the top.  We need the lay the groundwork, have a strong foundation to build from, otherwise we will fall all the way down and have to start all over again.  If that’s necessary, then so be it.  We will hopefully learn.  Never settle for less than what you know in your heart to be true.  Let go of what isn’t working to make room for what will, trusting that it will come in the perfect time, and it will all make sense.  Be the miracle you want to see in your life, and you will see them everywhere.

If fear and control are in your way and you don't know how to move past them, please contact me and We can work together to create an amazing life you only dreamed was possible.  My phone number is (805)279-4686.

I would love to hear your comments on what has been helpful in increasing your faith or how you would like to increase your faith.  

Blessings,

Jill

 

POEM - THE NOW MOMENT

Right now, we know everything,

We are free in the moment. 

All is revealed now. 

Truly, it is all we have.   

There are no yesterdays and tomorrow is but a thought that may or may not happen the way we wish. 

Birds just sing their song… loud, melodic and strong. 

The source is always in the moment. 

Acceptance of the moment is the only way to move forward…is the only way to have a foundation of truth. 

Without truth, there exists nothing. 

Truth and love, the center of all being. 

Perfection is here already, within us and all around us. 

We are one in the now. 

Accept what you feel now. 

Accept what you are doing now. 

Accept the flowers in your life. 

Accept the rough current in your life. 

Accept the valley. 

Accept the peak…stand on top of the mountain – Wow, what a clear view! 

Accept your attachments, your wrongs, 

Accept the dove, the eagle, the vulture, 

Accept summer, winter, spring and fall. 

Accept the need to wait. 

Accept the need to take action. 

Accept the flow of the waterfall. 

Accept pain. 

Accept joy. 

Accept listening.  Listen and you will learn. 

Accept black, green, gray and red: 

A red rose, the black of night, the gray of rain, the beautiful green meadow laden with brilliant flowers. 

Stillness of a glass lake… the rushing of a white, clear, rocky river. 

Accept two lovers holding hands, 

A beautiful beach at sunset on the sand. 

Accept love and light, 

Letting go and holding on tight. 

Accept the peace of quiet, the whispering willows. 

The melody of an orchestra. 

A bird singing, 

A child laughing, 

A friend’s voice on the phone, 

A massage, 

Warm water on your body, 

A touch, 

A puppy’s fur, 

Walking barefoot in the grass. 

 

By Jill Dawn Schwartz

Pain is Inevitable but Suffering is Optional

We all want to be free from emotional pain and suffering, and unfortunately most of us will do anything to prevent pain from occurring in our lives.  These distractions can tend to turn into addictions.  Anything taken to the extreme isn’t good for us.  For whatever reason, our society rejects pain as being a necessary part of life.  How dare we say we aren’t doing well when someone asks us.  Authenticity is looked down upon.  Some spiritual practices tell us to move into our pain, to be in the moment.  This is the way we learn about ourselves and the only way we can be free.  We learn what is working in our lives and what isn’t, who is good for us and who isn’t, actions that need to be taken, boundaries that need to be set, etc.   When we don’t dive into the pain, we live with an underlying chronic discomfort, restlessness and anxiety.  It gets repressed, and eventually we get depressed. We lose our peace, our joy.   Pain is a natural part of life.  The deeper we can be with and feel our pain, the deeper our capacity will be to feel joy. 

Pain has many causes:  Losing someone we love whether it be through a breakup, death, moving away, a divorce, or the disappointment when our expectations aren't met, when we lose a job or move out of our parent’s house.  Any life transition, whether it’s positive or negative brings grief, whether we are aware of it or not.   When we don’t feel the necessary feelings and grief, they don’t just go away.  They stay stuck in our bodies, drain our energy and eventually will make us physically sick.  Ironically, by being present to ourselves and our lives, we move through the pain faster.  Most people think the opposite, that if we repress or avoid our pain, it will go away.  That is what actually leads to suffering, which is long term pain.  In life, pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.  I love this saying because it reminds me what is true.  We have a choice to suffer.  How powerful!  If only we actually lived this truth, our lives would be so much more joyful.  Feeling our feelings is a sign of self love.  When we love ourselves enough to feel our feelings, whatever they are moment by moment, we will learn lessons quicker, experience more joy, peace and love, decrease fear and anxiety, and most of all, trust that our lives are unfolding for the highest good.  We actually have the opportunity to LIVE our lives and be free.  This is all easier said than done.  It takes work, discipline, commitment and intention.  My collaborative psychotherapy services are designed to educate and empower you to take back your life and start to enjoy these amazing benefits.  Contact me anytime at (805)279-4686 for a free consultation.

I welcome your comments and experiences about pain and suffering.

Peace and Blessings,

Jill

How to Have the Abundant Life That is Your Birthright

Eric Butterworth, A popular Unity minister and author once said, "Prosperity is not just having things. It is the consciousness that attracts the things. Prosperity is a way of living and thinking, and not just having money or things. Poverty is a way of living and thinking, and not just a lack of money or things." 

     Prosperity.  We all want it.  What is it? It changes based on your values. For one person, it may be having the freedom and time to do what they love.   For someone else it might mean having material possessions such as a car, or a house, or a lot of money. For another, it may mean having many people in their life who have spiritually evolved.  It doesn’t matter what your definition is.  The important thing to ask yourself is, “Does my life contain all the elements of prosperity according to my definition of Prosperity?”  If it does, congratulations!  If it doesn’t, that’s okay.  You just have more work to do, which will cause you to grow and prosper.  So, either way you win.

     Just like the quote at the beginning says, our abundance and prosperity are a result of the thoughts and feelings we have about life.  Form follows thought.  Think of everything we have in the world – cars, roads, buildings, cities, amusement parks.  All of these things were first a thought in someone’s mind with an underlying passion and motivation for creating it. The concept is simple, but not easy.  We manifest things all the time using thoughts and feelings without even realizing it.  Manifestation is a process of bringing ideas, concepts, visions and dreams from our inner world into the outer physical world.  By thinking new thoughts about prosperity, new realities are created about prosperity.  By collaborating with God, engaging in prayer and through His strength, the Lord is the source of our riches, not a job, money, a spouse or parents or anything or anyone outside of us.  By opening your connection to the higher forces (Source, God, Higher Power or whatever you call it), and by radiating the higher qualities of inner peace, joy, love, and aliveness, abundance will be yours. The bible says in Job 22:21 - "Submit to God and be at peace with him; In this way prosperity will come to you." 

     Another aspect of abundance is devotion to a personal life purpose. These people who are committed to a life purpose embody an abundant heart that naturally results in abundance and prosperity and naturally attract resources, people and situations to fulfill that purpose.  Where we focus our energy, time, talents and skills in doing what we love, we get rewarded, as long as they are in line with God's will for us.   Wayne Dyer, a popular inspirational author and speaker says, "There is no scarcity of opportunity to make a living at what you love; there's only scarcity of resolve to make it happen."

     Focus on your purpose like a laser point of light.  Write it down as a daily reminder.  Take the actions you are guided to take.  The gifts may not always look the way you expect them to, but they will always be for our highest and best.  God's plan is always better than what we can conceive of ourselves.

     The final aspect of abundance is gratitude.  Prosperous people who experience abundance know the importance of being thankful for everything in their life.  When attention is focused on the blessings in life, regardless of how small they seem, they can't help but multiply. Be grateful for your life right now in this moment.  Not only will it make you happier to focus on what you have instead of what you don't, but it will put you in a position of being a blessing receiver!

I would like you to understand that by asking the right questions you can increase your abundance and prosperity.  Here are a few to ask yourself:

What lights me up and inspires me? 

What am I good at? 

What gives me the most significance and meaning? 

What are the actions I can take toward fulfilling my purpose today? 

How can I major in what I love, minor in what I need to, let others worry about what I should do, delegate what I have to, and dump what is not necessary? 

Now, as you take a closer look at these questions and ponder them, you will find yourself starting to experience new thoughts and feelings, which will lead to new actions, more positive directions, more fulfillment, and you will be rewarded abundantly beyond your wildest dreams.  If you have a hard time answering these questions, there may be underlying past issues preventing you from experiencing the joy and abundance that is your birthright.  Get the help you need to get to the root of what is blocking abundance.  Feel free to contact me and I can discuss further how to help you live the life you were meant to live, free from past pain, hurts and trauma.

Blessings and prosperity,

Jill

Letting Go of the Past

Letting go is the process of releasing people, situations, thoughts, habits and patterns that no longer serve us and cause us pain. Letting go means surrendering our ego and self-will and trusting that our highest good and greatest joy will be given to us.  Many of us tend to want to remain in control and refuse to let go even when we know it is in our best interests to.  Letting go is realizing that even when we really want something to occur in our lives, that sometimes it isn’t the right time and trusting that if it's God's will, then it will come to us in His time and His way.  His plans are better than our plans and His ways are higher than our ways.  (I will be using the word “God” from now on for consistency).  Know that timing is perfect.  Something so wonderful, so incredible, beyond our wildest dreams is in store for us.  We have to BELIEVE it in order for it to happen.  The key is getting out of our own way and making space for something bigger and better to happen.  We are the only one limiting our good.  Get out of the way and stop trying so hard to control everything.  LET GO, SURRENDER!

Many of us need to let go of negative past belief systems that are controlling our lives today. Some of our belief systems that we formed at a young age are faulty and don’t work to our benefit, but we cling to these beliefs because, although they don’t work for us, they are familiar. We may find ourselves in situations that repeatedly lead to unhappiness and frustration.  We don’t realize that there is something better and different available to us because we are blinded by our current reality.  As long as we remain stuck in these patterns, we don’t have to change. Change can be scary.  When the pain of staying the same is greater than that of change and growth, we make a change.  We don't need to wait until life gets so painful to change. This may include releasing drama and stress from our lives by changing jobs, friendships, moving to a new place.  All of this suffering can be avoided if we let go on a daily basis to the will of God and take the necessary actions, He guides us to take.    

The first step in letting go is becoming aware that some aspect of our lives is not working. Once this is acknowledged, we can take some time to just observe whatever feelings, thoughts, body sensations arise. As we are present in the moment, we can see the issue more clearly in order to know what to do next.

Next, we need to decide if we are ready to release whatever it is. Until we are really open to change, nothing will budge. Letting go is up to us.  It is an action.  Letting go doesn't mean defeat.  It is an act of courage and strength to admit some aspect of our lives isn't working.  Once this is acknowledged, the next thing is finding new ways of being. This step may take some time. We usually need to try new things and fail at times to see what truly works and what doesn't.  Starting individual therapy, reading books, meditation, prayer, acupuncture, etc. are excellent ways to find answers.  Once you realize what the negative belief is, replace it with more self-affirming one.  Consciously practice this new belief when the old one creeps in because it will until the new belief take hold.  Once practiced over and over, the new one will become second nature.  As we heal ourselves, we break old patterns and find new, more effective ways of living. This is the path of letting go. When we release what no longer works, we are making room for something amazing to occur. 

Letting go is a continuous process. We may surrender something only to latch back onto it.  It's important to remain present in the moment and continuously monitor ourselves. When we fear letting go, we don’t trust in God to provide the best for us.  Trust and faith are a necessary part of letting go.  Breathe through the fear and discomfort of new situations and ways of being.  Letting go, and releasing that which doesn’t serve us is a process that takes time, gentleness, flexibility and forgiveness.  May you walk gently on your path with God beside you every minute of every day and be guided to a life of greatness.  Don’t live another day in suffering and pain.  It’s a simple choice you can make.  Let go and let God!

Affirmation – I am letting go and releasing people, situations, thoughts, habits and patterns that no longer serve me.  I am open and receptive to all the good that my Higher Power has in store for me.  I live joyously, with love, peace, and prosperity always.

P.S. If you know someone who would like to learn more about letting go of what isn’t working and allowing in what will, please have them contact me.

Peace and Blessings,

Jill

Transforming Fear into Courage

Did you know that over 87% of the world's population lives their lives ruled by FEAR?  That’s an ungodly number!  The research done by Dr. David Hawkins for his best selling book Power vs. Force shows us that this is a reality of not only the times in which we are now living, but a representation of the whole of human existence.  It comes down to how we THINK about fear that has to power to destroy us or lift us up to the highest heights.

Fear is something we all deal with.  Fear holds us back and stops us from doing what we know we need and want to do to live a joy-filled life.  Fear paralyzes us.  It steals our life right out from under us.  Worry and fear beget worry and fear and our lives mirror this negative belief system.  Fear is a real emotion from a real or perceived threat.  A real threat is when a lion is about to attack you or when a car is about to collide head on into you.  It causes all kinds of biological changes in the body that help you to make quick decisions and take quick actions based on survival.  This type of fear benefits you.  It helps you to react and take care of yourself, if there is time.   There are other fears that are perceived, ones that may or may not happen, usually future fears of some sort.  Fear of going broke and living on the streets, fear of losing your job, etc.  This unreal fear is based on past experiences and has nothing to do with the present situation, but we believe it does.  It’s your ego protecting you from something that reminds your subconscious mind of a past negative outcome or of someone who has projected their fears onto you.  Just because it happened in the past doesn’t mean it will happen in the future.  Most likely it WON’T happen again.  Many of us live with fear and are not even aware of it because it’s become a way of life.  Now if you were aware of your fears and faced them consciously, you would actually see them as a great opportunity to grow and become a more courageous person.  Future outcomes are imagined images that we have made up in our heads.  When considering a certain course of action, you can't know what the outcome will be.  You can only make your best decision with the knowledge you have in the moment.  Be true to your intuition and trust in your own abilities.  The future will be revealed and it usually is nothing like you imagined it, or if it is, it has happened for the best, for us to grow, to learn and to become better, more loving and compassionate people.

Here is a quick checklist of how to identify what your fears are and to discover if they are actually YOUR fears and not just the residual effect of someone else's fears you happened to have taken as your own.  Finally, a few steps to start overcoming them.

Overcoming Fear:

·         Acknowledge it. Become conscious of how it feels in your body.  Become fully aware of what is stopping you from moving forward.

·         Identify what's behind the fear.  Is it real or perceived?

·         Talk yourself through the “what if's.”  If you can accept the worst that can happen, fear won’t control you.

·         Be objective, the fear is only there to test you

The feeling that you have when you break through fear, is utter joy.

You Can Do It!

Don’t live another minute of your life in fear.  It’s up to you to change your mind about fear and live a life of courage, adventure, excitement, love, trust and joy!  Take your life back into your own hands and trust that your Higher Power, God, Source or whatever you call it, has a great plan for you.  

If you or someone you know would like to delve deeper into becoming free of fear, please call me at (805)279-4686.  

Blessings,

Jill